We would all like to live a calmer and more gentle life.
The following list of tips can be used by anyone, anytime. this list is changed regularly, so check back soon for additional tips.
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The Container - Use this technique when your mind is holding on to something distressing but you are temporarily unable to give it your full attention due to time or place constraints. Visualize a container of your choice. This can be anything that is large enough to hold the disturbance, able to be sealed off and able to be put away out of sight. This can not be something that exists inside your home that will run into regularly. Put the yet to be processed stuff inside this container for temporary holding, seal it up and put it away for future use (when you feel able to process through the material). Once all the junk is in the container, let you body relax. Say to yourself "All done for now" and go back to focusing on whatever needs your attention at the time. |
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Guilt - A creative way to have your cake and eat it too!
When we feel guilty we are giving ourselves permission to act in an undesirable way (or not act when we really should) while excusing our actions with guilt. For example, "I know that i should be more patient with my partner but i choose to fly off the handle and feel guilty about it. This way, i get to enjoy my tantrum and still feel good about myself". |
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Five finger exercise - Use this exercise on days you feel down on yourself and need a quick pick me up. Take three deep breaths, let feelings of calm and relaxation spread through your body. Let your muscles relax and close your eyes. As yor muscles let go, become aware of your dominant hand. Touch your thumb to your index finger. As you do, think back to your past, to a time when you felt really cared for and loved. Maybe it's a birthday party your parents threw for you, or the time a family member took care of you when you were sick. Next, touch your thumb to your middle finger. Think back to a time when you felt really successful. It could be a graduation, a promotion and good grade or anything that makes you feel successful. Next, touch your thumb to your ring finger and remember a time that you did something important for someone else. This can be any moment of selflessness that's important to you. Finally, touch your thumb to your pinkie and look for a memory where you felt love for another very strongly. Let that feeling fill your heart. |
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Identify your feelings - So often we carry in our body unidentified feelings. The come in the form of Irritability, angst, anxiety or any other 'filler' emotion.Sometimes it is scary for us to point out the actual feeling to our selves, but most of the time we just forget or dont know how. Here are some steps to identifying the real feeling behind the mask. 1. Physically relax. Calm your mind by taking 5 deep breathes or using any of the techniques posted (or will be posted soon) on this page. 2. Ask yourself "what is my main concern right now?" 3. Tune in to the place in your body where you feel emotional sensations. 4. Wait and listen to whatever comes up. Don't judge or analyze it. Observe. 5. If you're stuck, look at the feeling list to help you identify the feeling. |
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Irritability - Anger you choose not to see because if you saw it, you would have to do something about it. |
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Connecting the two hemispheres - take a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle of the page. Then you take 5 deep belly breaths and treat your self with some relaxation. You put a pen in you dominant hand and write down a question you want to ask yourself. Then you put the pen in your other hand and you write down the first answer to comes to your mind. Then you put the pen back in your dominant hand and continue the conversation in this way. back and forth. |
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Spiral technique - This is meant to be used for temporary relief of a disturbance. By no means is this meant for long term. Instead it is for putting aside the issue UNTIL a better time comes for processing (like with a therapist or a friend or just in quiet solitude). Bring up the disturbing issue and concentrate on where you feel it in your body. Pretend that the feelings are energy. If the sensation was going in a spiral, what direction would it be moving in? (clockwise or counterclockwise). Now, with your mind, change the direction and move the spiral in the opposite direction. If you're more of a left brainer you can add a scale at the beginning and at the end to measure how disturbing the issue is. You can use a 0-10 scale where 0 is neutral and 10 is most disturbing. It'll be easy to see the reduction in disturbance in that way. This is meant to be used for temporary relief of a disturbance. By no means is this meant for long term. Instead it is for putting aside the issue UNTIL a better time comes for processing (like with a therapist or a friend or just in quiet solitude).
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Empty Chair - This is useful when you are experiencing conflicting emotions about something. Sit on a chair and put another chair in front of you. Then you take five deep belly breaths and relax. Now, you first speak as your mind (its much easier for us to connect with our rational mind). You ask your heart a question like, "what are you trying to tell me?" or "what is it i need to know?" Then you speak as your heart and you answer the question. Keep the conversation going as long as you want. You don't have to change seats but YOU DO have to role play the character. Get into it and have fun. You might find something interesting.
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Boredom - Waiting for life to provide you with entertainment. |
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